Voldie's Nose: A Croc Or Was It Alligator? Story
by AndiePotter-Snape
Summary: How the vicious and evil Dark Lord Voldemort REALLY lost his nose.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: ****What **_**really **_**happened to Voldemort's nose? Well, I guess everyone finds out when he makes a world wide announcement, discussing the tragedy in great detail. **

Wizards and witches all across the world jumped nearly to the ceiling as the most feared Dark Lord Voldemort's face appeared in their living room or shop.

"Is this bloody thing on? I'll cast Avada Kedavra on you if it's not!" Voldie exclaimed to someone off to the side.

"Yes, My Lord. I would be honored to have you cast wicked spells on me with your wand, My Lord…" A sickening, sniveling voice said.

"Good." he straightened his robes. "Hello, citizens of the wizarding world! I am Lord Voldemort and-"

"My Lord, I think everyone knows who you are…" The voice interrupted.

"_So?_ I like saying my name! Shut up! Wingardium Leviosa! Silencio!" Voldemort exclaimed, sounding very much like a contrite child. "Now, as I was saying, _before _I was so rudely interrupted," he glared to his right, "I am Lord Voldemort and this message has been approved by me. Now, many people, before I kill them, ask what happened to my nose."

"They _do not_!" a woman yelled in the distance.

"Be quiet, mother! You wouldn't know!" Voldemort yelled. "So sorry. My mothers portrait likes to correct me when _there is nothing to correct_," He said with a tight smile.

"Anyway, as I was saying, many people ask me what happened to my nose. Well, I'm about to tell you!

Alright," Voldemort shifted as he said this, "When I was twenty three years old, I was in the U.S. The part where they have crocodiles and alligators. I was flying over a swamp in Alabama, when out of nowhere, BAM! An alligator - or was it a crocodile? I can never tell the difference… Anyway, one of the two jumped out of the water and latched onto my face! At first I was like," Voldie grabbed his nose, effectively plugging it, "Crikey! What a beaut! This one right here is huge, at least twelve feet! But then, I felt my nose being torn to shreds and started to scream. Here, I can immitate it for you, so you can picture it more clearly. Ahem…" He screamed like a little girl. Very high pitched. _**[AN: video for his scream on my profile] **_

"I struggled greatly, and soon, got him to release my face. By the time he did, though, my nose was practically non-existent and I was exceedingly soggy. I flew to St. Mungos, my face bleeding. They attempted to make a new nose for me, but it was unsalvageable. I ended up with no nose. The End."

Voldemort sat there for a few more moments, tear-y eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said, clearing his throat. "I'm still very touchy on the whole subject."

Then the image of his head disappeared, and the whole wizarding community was left very speechless. In the Weasley living-room, Harry Potter was bent at the waist, laughing hysterically.

_**THE END!**_

_**So how was it? Huh, huh? Ahem… sorry. I'm slightly hyper. Maybe I had too much chocolate… Anyway! REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GKGJDSLGFJGDFLFDKSKGHYKJHJDF! **_


	2. Farewell, Faithful Readers

Hello, faithful readers! Unfortunately, I am discontinuing all stories on this account. If anyone would like to have any of them to continue as their own, or to edit them and _make_ them their own, feel free to pm me. I will still pay attention to pm notifications from this account. But be warned! I won't just give them to anyone. I would like to choose someone to continue them who loves them as much as I did. So, if you pm me about a story I would like for you to tell me anything you can about yourself and why I should choose you to continue my stories. I know that that's a bit demanding, but I'm sure if you _really_ want them, you'll pm me with the necessary information. I love all of you for following my stories and myself so faithfully.

I'm sorry if discontinuing these stories and abandoning this account disappoints anyone, but fear not! I've made a new account and already have one chapter of a brand new story up. I hope to have a lot more chapters up, at least one every two weeks, and to actually finish this one! I hope you all visit me there! Feel free to shoot me a pm if you follow me there.

I'm looking to start a community of really great stories there, so I'd like to get some staff together so I have a lot of really amazing variety. If you pm me when you get to my new account and are interested in becoming part of my staff, mention that and maybe mention a few ideas on community topic and things like that.

My new account name is BunnyLordIsHere. Hopefully you can find me! I hope to receive a few pms about my stories.

Farewell, faithful readers. It was a good ride.


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